My Bestest Friend In The Whole World

I love my cat Leo. He is now 13 years old. He has been with me since he came out of the womb. He and I have been through so much together and we have traveled to many places. He is my best friend. No matter what I have gone through, he has always been there and welcomed me with love in his eyes and a gentle purr. He warms me on cold nights and snuggles close at bed time. In the morning with a touch of his paw he wakes me to be fed. He listens to me when I sing to him and meets me at the door when I come home. A true best friend.

Recently, Leo was diagnosed with an enlarged heart. A condition that in cats is fatal. He was going into congestive heart failure before I even knew that he was sick. a rush to the vets office and a week in the hospital he was sent home on medications that would help his condition. The prognosis was not what I wanted to hear. He was given two to six months before his heart would finally give out.



He greatly improved on the meds and became playful again after about three weeks on his medications. We are now going on six months since his diagnosis. The medications are making him sick with diarrhea and vomiting. It greatly breaks my heart to see him go through what he has been through in the past couple of weeks.
Yesterday I noticed that his breathing was a little abnormal so I have been keeping him under close observation. with the advise of his veterinarian I have increased some of his meds to help draw the fluids off of his lungs to keep him from going into congestive heart failure again. I am watching my best friend die. At what point do you have to decide that enough is enough and take him to be put down and end the chance of suffering.



I am literally watching my best friend die at the moment and there is nothing that I can do. It breaks my heart to know that such a good loving animal has to leave this world in this way. He is my best friend!

My Sudden Stresses

Well,it's been a while since I have had time to write any posts. Several things have happened to me over the spring and summer. I have played drums in two bands and currently still in one.I have traveled and I have met several extemly nice people It consumes my time to the point that music is always in my head. Not a bad thing though, but time consuming.




I had written an article not long ago about living with an obese cat. With a good diet and excersize my cat Leo had lost a few pounds. Now, Leo was about 27lbs at one time. For those who don't know, one pound on a human is about 10lbs on a cat or dog.

Leo was recently admitted to the veterinerian hospital for what appeared to me as very labored breathing. Almost a panting with out his mouth open. I rushed him in and the vet took one look at him and said that he was a very sick kitty.

At first he (Leo) was diagnosed with asthma. This was highly upsetting givien that the rate of longivity in cats with asthma is about 2 weeks. Devastaed with this news I brought him home. I scrubbed and dusted as if he were an asthmatic infant. Of coarse he is my child. I pulled Leo out of the woumb thirteen years ago. He is my baby.




Two days at home, Leo is having labored breathing again. I stayed up with him through out the night and rushed him back to the vet that morning. His lungs had filled up with fluids again and after staying the hospital for another five nights he was diagnosed with a heart disease.

I had already done some research on heart disease in cats and to tell you the truth none of them sound good. I looked at Leo's exrays and the vet explained the condition of his heart and how he came to the conclusion after many tests and bloodwork that Leo has the "classic Valentine shapped" heart. Which means that he has an enlarged heart.

This is not good news to me but it's so much better than asthma.The survival rate of heart disease is so much better than that of asthma.Some cats with heart disease have lived up to 19 to 20 yrs of age. Leo will be on medication for the rest of his life.Three pills that I have to try to manipulate into a pill pocket or treat to trick him into taking it or physically have to put in in his mouth and try to get him to swallow them.

After picking Leo up from the second stay he developed a cold. He stared sneezing, his nose was running, and he was breathing out of his mouth. I immediately called the vet back and explained what was going on. Leo has a cold almost like the flu in humans. My poor baby. It's as if he hasn't gone through enough already, now he has the flu.



Yesterday, he lost his appetite and I had to manually give himm his meds. That's not an easy task for a cat that is so sick. Today he is eating. He even went out side for about five minutes for some fresh air and to drink out of the water bowl under the water faucet. I bought some low sodium canned chicken meat instead of giving him a can of food. I know that chicken soup makes me feel better when I'm sick so I thought that it might do the same for him.His nose is still runnng and he is still sneezing but at .least he is eating

Leo is my child my baby and I made a promise to him that I would give him the best life that I possibly could as lonog as he was alive. Now I have even more reason to spoil him even more than he was before. He is my best friend and he is very well loved.

Nothing to really say again today. I hate not being able to really converse about stuff running through my head.
I am sitting at a friend's house doing exactly the same thing that I was doing at home. I am surfing the web and decided to write this blog. It's nice to stare at different walls for a while. I am sitting here with company instead of sitting alone at my house but still accomplishing nothing.
I started playing with another band a couple of months ago and I am trying to adjust to the different genre of music that they play. Like with my last band, I had to learn country music. I really don't know what type of genre that this is that I am learning.



I have been keeping up with the two men from Malawi Africa that were sentenced to 14 years of hard labor for being gay. What a sad world that we live in that people can't love one another without being condemned for it. I too am gay and can't imagine having to to jail because of who I love.
I signed petitions for their immediate release, along with several thousand others. To my surprize, it worked. The president of Malawi pardoned them and released them from prison yesterday. I do, however, believe that that was partly because some world leaders threatened to halt several billion dollars in aid to their country if they continued to imprison these two poor men.
I would like to believe that it was due in part to a national outcry to do the right thing and reform the outdated colonial laws that they are still living under. I don't know though.



I have had a friend of mine that passed away on my mind lately. I don't exactly think about her all the time but I am around places, people, and circumstances that remind me of her and alot of the things that she and I used to do. So, with that said, I think that I need to change my surroundings and people, and places and circumstances. I have been thinking this for a while now. It's becoming an urge to get up and just go.




The only thing about that idea really is letting go. That's what I really need to do. I need to learn to let go of fear. Let go of the fear of change. Something that I need the most.Change.
I also feel like there is something in my life that I need to be doing but can't quite put my finger on it. Something is missing. I need to find out what that calling just is. I feel something pulling at me. I'll find it soon, I'm sure.
Well I guess I did have something to say after all. Wow! That's awesome! That actually has become one of my favorite words. I try to keep positive words in my daily vocabulary. That is one of them.
Bye for now and until next time: Peace and love to you!!!

Sober Hangovers

Tonight I went out to hang with some great friends. It wasn't that far away from where I live. A 10 to 15 minute drive which would actually be shorter if I didn't have to go through a state park along the way. I decided that I wasn't going to drink tonight like I did last week.I got pretty ripped last week. Let's just say 4 over my limit of 2. Not drinking tonight turned out to be a good decision on my part. I hate the drive back home and don't like to stay at friend's too well.(Nothing personal guys, I'm just antisocial that way)

I arrived at 7:00 pm at a friend of mine's bar and grill. A nice small place where the whole family can dine and a person of age can drink a beer or two. They had a band playing tonight. A well known local band of whom I know really well. Very talented people. Then at close to closing time and all of the under agers out of the building it becomes a "private party". Doors are locked and it's on, let the fun begin.

So, not drinking, I ordered a cup of coffee and wound up drinking at least 2 and a half pots on my own. Of coarse having to pee every 20 min or so to get rid of the previous 4 cups that my bladder would be holding. By the time I left there it was 1:00am. Now, I'm thinking that hanging out with my great friends (whom I love very much) I have some how absorbed their alcohol into my skin or vapors through my nose. I can't explain it but everytime I hang out with someone that drinks I seem to get their hangover.

What is this? I feel like maybe if I would have drank a couple of beers that I would have gotten this feeling for a good cause. HMMM.... I don't know? I don't think that I have ever met anyone else that doesn't drink on a normal basis that gets "hangover like" feelings. The worst thing is is that I know I will feel worse in the morning whan I wake up. I call these sober hangovers or "sympathy" hangovers.

Like I said, I love my friends and wouldn't change them for the world. I would do almost anything for them but this hangover crap is for the birds. How do they do it? I wonder. How do they drink several beers or liquor or whatever and not feel like crapolla the next day or next 2 days for that matter?

Well, it's not going to stop me from hanging out with them for sure. I always have such a great time when I'm around them and being sober is actually a form of entertainment for me. I will continue on my quest to understand this type of "brain fog, sluggish, head ache feeling and until I do I'm gonna keep on doing what I do. Love you guys and you know who you are.....

A Night Out

Lastnight I decided to get away from my computer for a while and socialize. I went to a bar and grille that I used to play at a few towns over. I don't miss the drive there two or three nights a week. It was great to see some good friends that still hang out there and catch up on what's been going on their life. It's amazing how some people will open up and just tell you things about themselves that probably should be left unsaid.
I'm really a private person and my "personal" life is something that I very rarely discuss with anyone, even after a few drinks. All in all, this place has not really changed much. It's friendly atmosephere was amplified with the fireplace roaring and patrons sitting aroud gossiping by the fire. It does make me wonder how safe can a bar be with an open fireplace though.
I was invited to jam with my old band mates as they were there trying to make it through a Wednesday night after playing a show for Fat Tuesday the night before. Very talented musicians stuck out in the middle of no where thirty miles from Nashville. (Figure that one out)
Back to the privacy issue. How do some people just airout their laundry to people that they really don't know too well? I would say that this is a typical thing for a bar but I really wouldn't know. I'm not a big drinker and don't hang out in bars unless I'm playing a show or being a designated driver for some of my friends that do want to go out.
These people will tell you how many girlfriends that they have and who they are cheating on, what drugs they are overly taking, how they are in trouble with not paying their taxes, who is stealing money from who,who is not paying their rent,who is milking the government on child support, what happened on the bar the night before with so and so, etc. I mean really, people, I just came out to see how some of my friends were doing becase I haven't seen them in a while and enjoy the band and a beer.
So, I think that from that one visit lastnight, I have learned what has been going on in the four surrounding counties.With that said, I actually had an entertaining night on a very small town.
In final thought: People, there needs to be a little bit of privacy in your lives or you can continue to discuss you whole life's issues and give me and probably someone else something to write about.
Peace, deduck3

Just Me

I don't have much to say today. I just started this blogging thing and I'm going to try to keep a journal of my everyday life. I have become an internet junkie, as it's called. Wow, another addiction to go with my coffee and smokes.
So, I have come up with this idea that has been floating around in my brain for a few days and I'm still trying to put all of it together. I will explain on that some other time when I get the whole jist of it in order.
I have been keeping up with some of the Olympics but not on a regular basis. I usually have the television on but the volume on mute. The TV Guide channel seems to be the most interesting thing that is usually on. I just watch what will be coming on when I glance at it. When you have no access to television is when you really want to see what is on but when you do have it's availabilty, nothing is ever on worth watching.
I'm bothered by the whole Haiti relief that's been going on. I feel deeply saddened that these people have lost thier homes and their whole lives have been destroyed and uprooted. I just don't understand why it takes a disaster and some celebreties to make people want to all of a sudden "care". There are so many countries (including our own) that need help yet most people turn away or don't see it.
Anyways, I will return tomorrow or maybe later and write some more.
deduck3